Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Mistaken for a Hooker and My Food Log

I have lots of good friends.  But, do you know who was not my friend yesterday?   This guy.



The number has been sneaking up on me for the past couple of months. I have largely ignored it because Lindsey Lohan has nothing on me in the denial department . . .



. . . and because my pants still zip. . . 


While the scale is just a number, it's still an indicator.  And, yesterday morning, the indicator gave me some sticker shock.



I know what the culprit is. I stick to my guns and eat very cleanly all week but then blow it out on the weekends.  I also have cut down on cardio due to the back thing.


Since I don't celebrate mediocrity, I started today with renewed sense of purpose. I'm going to lose these few extra pounds that have snuck on me . . . by Halloween. And, then I'm going to steal all of my kids' Reese's PB cups and eat them until I puke.


Just kidding.  Sort of.

For me, weight management begins with food logging. I told you last week about my love affair with My Fitness Pal (a.k.a. "the pal").  I had planned on writing a whole post about how/why I log my food but writing it put me to sleep.  


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Even though I know a few of you use my blog to put yourselves to sleep at night (ahem, Emily O.), that's not my first objective.  

Besides, what I have to tell you about food logging, a NASA monkey could figure out.


It's not rocket science.  It goes like this: 



I'm reinventing the wheel here, right?  So, instead of describing how I came up with my daily caloric goal, I'm just going to show you what yesterday looked like. 

Yesterday started with a workout.  It was a good, sweaty, all-body workout, and I logged 350 calories burned. 


Truthfully, when it comes to logging exercise, I don't really pay that much attention to accuracy because I typically don't eat back those calories anyway.  (It's an age thing.  I found that I could eat back my burned calories until I turned 37.  After 37, it didn't work like that any more.)

When I got home, I choked down this Metabolism boosting drink concocted by the Tone It Up! Girls.  


The Great and Powerful Oz took one look at the floating debris in my glass and said, "There is something wrong with that.  Make a new one."  But, that's the way its supposed to look, I think . . . although the mixture does make an interesting slime that you have to slurp down at the end. 

With my metabolism boosted, I ate breakfast.


After breakfast, I headed to Dallas for work.  I had a Groupon that was about to expire.  So, on my way to the office, I stopped in Denton for a spray tan.   The good news is that I came out of there looking like I lost five pounds. 



The bad news is that I look like what happens when you cross a member of the Jackson Five with an Oompa Loompa.


Due to my orangish pigmentation, I opted not to attend the lunch that my office was hosting for our clients.  Instead, I hid in my office all morning and then picked up a rather small and un-sensational salad at Snappy Salads, which I ate on the road:



While I was filling up my car at the gas station, I received confirmation that I still have it

That's right.  A sixty-ish year old man with a big belly, but a ridiculously fantastic Mercedes convertible told me, "You have beautiful hair . . . I mean, really beautiful hair."  I stared at his car for a minute and thought that he might be my ticket out of here.




But, then I remembered what my wise friend told me:


Those who marry money earn every penny.


Plus, I figured that due to my new coloring and our proximity to Harry Hines Boulevard at the time, the man probably just thought I was a hooker and didn't really have a permanent position in mind. 


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Oh, yeah, and there is also the fact that I'm happily married. 

My unsatisfying salad only got me as far as Denton.  So, I stopped for a snack.  



While I was in Target buying my ZonePerfect bar, my car also scored a parking lot pick-up.



She is so coy.

Dinner was a quick and easy salad topped with a veggie burger patty.


For dessert, I had a chocolate rice cake topped with a tablespoon of cashew butter. 



Did you see what else I snuck in there?  Shame on me. 

If you want to be my friend on My Fitness Pal, you can find me here.  If that doesn't work, my user name is jennimoen. Look me up.

And, finally, here are my ten commandments of food logging:

1. Eat it, log it.  It all counts.  If I am loggiing a meal, then I log all of it.  Lying to myself will get me no where  . . .  Cheaters never win.

2. Measure food and stick to serving sizes.  The best thing about food logging is that it forces me to monitor my portion sizes.  If I don't want to log cop to eating three servings of refried beans, then I shouldn't eat three servings of refried beans. I'll eat just one.  My family will thank me, anyway.

3. Not all calories were created equal.  Quality is as important as quantity. If all I ate in a day was a sonic burger and a Twinkie, then I would probably still come in under my caloric goal.  But, I'd still get fat.  Fact.

4. Calories aren't the only things that count. The Pal makes it easy for me to see if I am eating the right proportions of protein, carbohydrates, and fat.  So, if I've used up my protein allotment for the day, then I know that my snack needs to be a piece of fruit or some nuts. 

5. Log food as I'm dishing it on my plate.  I am more likely to stick to the proper portions and avoid a second helping if I log my meal before I eat it. 

6. Bring some friends along.  The Pal makes food logging a social environment.  I am more likely to make a good food decision if I think someone else is watching.  Some times.

7. Don't be a jackass about it.  I try not to talk about my food log to people who don't care.  If I am eating out with friends that are not on the Pal with me, they will probably think that I am rude, stupid, or crazy if I log my food at the table.
8.  Don't take it too seriously.  If I decide to have a blowout meal, I just let it go.  I don't log it unless I want to brag to my friends about the deliciousness that I just ate.  No remorse or self hatred allowed.  The next meal is a fresh start.
9.  Don't let  the kids in on the game.  I learned this the hard way when my nine year old son asked how many calories were in his baked chicken.  While I want my kids to learn to make healthy food choices, I don't want them to have screwy self images just because momma was an obsessive, compulsive loon.
10.  Take a break.  Ever so often, I find it necessary to step away from the Pal for a couple of weeks.  Otherwise, it will make me crazy.  Last year, I took off the two week period around Christmas. That was carefully orchestrated so that I could enjoy all the holiday cookies people were delivering to my house.
I try to stick to my rules.  But, I'm not perfect.  Shocker.

Do you log your food?  If so, how do you keep it from making you nutty?  Have you ever been mistaken for a hooker?

A big thank you to Emily for answering my questions last week.  Apparently, blogger lets some people leave comments and denies others. 

Have a great Wednesday!

JMo

5 comments:

  1. I'm working at flying J now and while I do not get mistaken for a hooker(much), I do chase a few of them from the lot,and occasionally some old trucker will invite me to go on the road with him. How long I consider it before turning the offer depends on what kind of day I'm having. Miss you!
    Rachael R.

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    1. You make me laugh! Don't leave with any old truckers or we may be looking for your body parts on the side of the road somewhere. Not that all truckers are psychopaths. They aren't. I had an uncle James that was a trucker and, to my knowledge, not a psychopath. We miss you too!

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  2. Hi Jenni- I read your blog and love it! I go in phases of logging my food. I mainly fail because I don't have a cool iphone to carry with me so I am stuck with my laptop. I use sparkpeople.com or my fitness pal on Brian's ipad. No hooker incidents that I know of. Carmen

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    1. I can't imagine life without my iphone. But, my kids can. If they didn't like playing with it so much, they would probably throw it out the car window. Still, I never let them see me log. Any more. I don't see you getting mistaken for a hooker . . . maybe mistaken in Hooker . . . but not mistaken for a hooker.

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    2. Just for the record I enjoy these blogs they make me laugh!!! If gives me something to read before I go to bed so instead of a good book I get tk read a good blog!!!! The light from my phone makes my eyes tired!!!! Keep me coming
      Emily

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