Team Shortstack has been slacking. Since Easter, our workouts have been sloppy, and our eating has been even sloppier.
We've been doing the same stuff for almost a year and a half now. We are stale. Team Shortstack is staler than a three day old pancake. We've decided its time to mix it up.
Now, we would like to mix it up with some Crossfit. Yeah, yeah . . . its all the rage. Everybody is doing it.
Just like everyone is reading "Fifty Shades of Grey."
We are doing that, too. We hop on a trend faster than Kim Kardashian on a black man with big diamonds.
But, we truly believe that Crossfit is a higher form of exercise and is probably here to stay. Holy crap! I sound like a damn Reebok commercial.
While Crossfit is touted as the workout that anyone can do in the comfort of their own garage, you still need a gaggle of equipment. And, in case you haven't noticed, my garage is full of cars.
Plus, Shortstackers need a gym. Somewhere to go. "I'm going to workout at home" is Jenni-speak for "I might accidentally sleep in" . . . just like the Great and Powerful Oz does every morning.
So, we've been trying to incorporate some Crossfit-esque exercises into our workouts at the good old YMCA.
But the Y is dirty. The aerobics rooms are scheduled out. The only available space is the basketball gym, which is not air conditioned. So, we are hauling weights, medicine balls, and yoga mats around like a bunch of pack mules, and sweating like a whore in church before our workout even begins.
We heard a rumor that the Chickasaw Wellness Center has a very nice gym. We also heard that they have some Crossfit friendly equipment.
We had to check it out.
The Wellness Center is a one stop shop. You can get an HIV test, learn how to breastfeed, and do burpees all in one place. And, if you have Indian heritage, you can workout there for free.
Unfortunately, I'm about as white as they come. In fact, I'm so white that I'm reflective. And, even if I look like I took a tomahawk to the forehead, I'm out of luck at the Chickasaw Wellness Center.
Elizabeth gets a little closer. She wanted to be Indian so bad when she was little that her dad lied to her for years and said she was part Cherokee. But, the freckles give her away. She's also out of luck.
Now, Jill gets real close. Her dad's high cheek bones and dark skin make it obvious that they have tribal lineage. But, her cousin's extensive genealogy research revealed that there was some hanky panky followed by a disownment or other "your dead to me event" that made getting roll numbers unlikely.
At the time, they probably didn't realize all of the benefits that they were foregoing (rich cultural history, free college, walmart gift cards for good elementary grades, and free use of weights and treadmills). But, like us, she's out of luck, too.
Even so, pale faces like Elizabeth and I and disowned natives like Jill are welcome at the Wellness Center. At $30/month, it's the best deal in town.
Since this was our first visit, we were given some guest passes and a tour. First up was the pool.
Because the Great and Powerful Oz fancies himself a swimmer, we had to check it out. It sort of resembles a Japanese bath, but it was clean and warm. It looked good to us, but Oz is going to need to do some cannon balls himself to check the depth.
Next up was the workout room, which I swear to might as well have had a sign on the door that said "Team Shortstack's Room." There were all kinds of toys in there that we couldn't wait to get our hands on.
Like this weighted ball. I recently discovered that I need one of these to do something called "wall balls."
I did five or so and decided that I definitely need further training. Wall balls are not for the faint of heart.
The room also had free weights, kettle bells, weighted bars, bands, steps, boxes, and two . . . yes, two, rowing machines.
Elizabeth loves a rowing machine. She has been trying to justify buying one for her house. I think she almost has it rationalized. But, in case EZ-GO Joe doesn't buy in, we will be all set at the Wellness Center.
But, by far, our favorite find of the day was a machine that I haven't seen since my days at the Bally Total Fitness in Houston.
Pull ups are my arch nemesis. I spent all last summer working on pull-ups, and could still only muster two by the end of the summer.
I'm sure that this machine is considered cheating by many standards because it gives you a little "assist" by catapulting you towards the heavens when you pull-up. But, I think that if we gradually decrease the amount of resistance, we should eventually be able to do them unassisted. I am flat-out fired up about this machine. I wanted to wrap it up and take it home with me.
I guess Team Shortstack needs to have a pow wow to discuss the move. We really liked the Chickasaw Wellness Center and would like a change of scenery.
Change your latitude, change your attitude.
But, I hate to pull a Yoko Ono and break up the band if all members of the team aren't on board.
Now, because this is getting kind of long-winded, here is Elizabeth's "What-We-Ate on Tuesday" on Wednesday:
Breakfast: For breakfast, she had oatmeal. You've seen it and heard it before.
Lunch: For lunch, Elizabeth had orzo salad with sliced bell peppers, hummus, and toasted pita.
We also had broiled brussel sprouts and Parmesan Roma tomatoes. And, hummus and baked flatbread.
A day in the life, folks. A day in the life.
Jenni and Elizabeth