Friday, May 4, 2012

A Root Canal is More Fun than the Germanfest 15K Fun Run

For today's sidelining the sweet talk, we are going to give you a race recap of last week's Germanfest 15K in Muenster, TX.  This is a story of blood, sweat, tears, and beer.

The night before the run, Elizabeth finally succumbed to all the germs that her kids had been spewing at her all week.  At 9 p.m. on Saturday, it appeared that the only thing she would be running was a fever.

But, Sunday morning she rallied like a superstar. 

When we left Ardmore, we were running about 30 minutes late due to my inept blogging skills and the general uncooperativeness of the blogger app.  As a result, we had to drive fast and take chances. 

On the way to Muenster, we thought that we felt a few drops of rain, but then we decided that it was just our own spit.  

All the way there, we debated whether to run the 15K as planned or the 5K since Elizabeth was running a temperature of 103 the night before.  How far we would run was really immaterial to me.  I was nervous about my poor running the whole week leading up to it, and I was really only running for the rewards at the end anyway:

Beer, Brats, and Texas Taters . . . 

So, I was kind of hoping that she would decide to run the 5K.   I really hate runs that start after day break.   I especially hate long, hot, windy runs that start at noon.  

But, being a bad ass superhero, Elizabeth was hell bent that we were going to run the 15K. 

We parked, hustled to the registration building, and picked up our packets.  We couldn't help but notice that the whole downtown area surrounding the starting line smelled awful.  It kind of smelled like this:

But, it would seem that it actually was the smell of the butcher's shop.  I guess the slaughtering of pigs is a nasty, stinky process.  The Great and Powerful Oz would say "that's the smell of money."

Amazingly, we made it to the starting line with about 10 minutes to spare.  We spent the time looking for our friend Jessie and asking random people to take pictures of us.  

Some people spent the time texting.

Then at high noon, we were off and running.  All the way up to the 5K/15K split, I was still hoping that Elizabeth was going to come to her senses and choose to go for the shorter distance.  There was actually a sign that said "Decision Time" at the fork in the road.  I can't believe that I didn't get a picture of that.  Where was I on that one?  Oh, yeah, I was running at an unsustainable pace and praying that the hills weren't going to be as bad as everyone had said. 

After we left the 5Ker's, the route became more rural.  Miles 2.5 through 7 pretty much looked like this:

And, for at least three of miles we were trailing this guy (and, so this was also our view).

There was another guy who was even more interesting though.  His shirt said that he is a marine.  Or maybe he just likes dressing like one.

Personally, I thought  he was incredibly over-dressed for an 85 degree run, but, more importantly, he was one of those guys that hates getting passed by a girl.  And, apparently, he really hated being passed by two girls in skirts.  

And so, the hunger games began. 

We would pass him, and then he would immediately speed up and pass us.   He would keep the lead for about half a mile but then he would inevitably slow down, and we would pass him again.  This leap frog game went on for about 3 miles. 

At some point, I realized that I was totally out of energy (breakfast was long gone) and my pace was in the toilet.  We were running up and down rolling hills in the heat with a 15-20 mph wind in our faces.  And, I really just wanted to walk. 

So, I decided to really up the ante.  I would run past him at about an 8:00 min/mile, take about a 1/4 mile lead, and then I would just stop and walk.  He would pass me, and then we would do it all over again.  Not only was he being passed by a girl in a skirt.  He was being passed by a girl in a skirt that was doing an embarrassing amount of walking.  Awesome. 

While all of this was going on, Elizabeth was maintaining a steady pace  . . . and was probably wondering if I had lost my mind. 

Yes.  Yes, I had.  Water deprivation had to be the cause because there were no water stops between miles 4.5 and 7.  

Basically, the Germanfest Fun Run 15K sucked the life right out of me.  My performance was horrendous.  I blame the elements (heat, wind, and hills), but I've been running like crap anyway.   

The only upside was the pickle juice at the end.  You don't see that at every race, and we are huge fans.

But, what makes the Germanfest run totally worth the $25 registration fee?  Free entry to the festival and two free beer tickets. 

With those beer tickets burning a hole in our pockets, we immediately went to for the food and drink.  I got a sausage on the stick.

Elizabeth wanted a Reuben . . . and ordered a Reuben . . . but ended up with a brat on a hot dog bun with kraut on top.  She wasn't all that thrilled though you can't tell it here.

Then we split a huge plate of 'Texas Taters'. 

And, of course there was beer.

After the food and beer, Elizabeth's compromised body needed a rest.  So we took a seat and waited for the race awards to start.  That's when I captured the many faces of Eve. 

We totally weren't expecting to win anything.  However, in hopes that maybe some of the other Ardmore ladies were going to win something, we just hung out.  

Then shockingly, both our names were called.  Elizabeth got third in her age group (30-34), and I got second in the old ladies group (35-39).   

All in all, we had a great time . . . after the run.  The run itself was grueling.  I have some real work to do on that front.  I've lost my mojo.

But, the food and the festival were fun.  If Elizabeth had been feeling better it would have been a lot more fun. 

I still can't believe that we didn't get any dessert.  Oh wait, there were some cookies and a brownie that we bought from some cheerleaders trying to raise money for something or another.    So, I guess we did eat dessert.  But, we didn't eat any strudel.  What a shame.

We will be "kommen" back next year.  Only I think I'll stick with the 5K.  If Elizabeth wants to run the 15K, she is on her own.  Nine miles up and down hills in the scorching heat and wind is not a good scene for a vampire runner.  I will rock the 5K though.  I have two years left to try for first in the old ladies group (ages 35-39) before I move on to the old, old ladies group.  And, I'm going to win first.  Mark my words.



  1. My strawberry strudel was delicious! I had to swipe it from Little Red and my nephew to keep them from eating it all. I've had a pleasant experience on teh 15k there before, PRd the sucker but the wind was nonexistant that day :)

    Oh and I saw hairy guy too, that's when Chris commented that runners are a very strange, weird and badly dressed group except for us of course.
    Now it's onto either sandbass 5k or roundup, which one is it going to be? You can always look forward to those juicy steaks in September too!

    1. Well, I PR'd it too last weekend, but only because I hadn't ever done a 15K before. I like the length of the 15K, but I will never do that 15K again. Period. It is dead to me. Spit. Spit.

      Hmmmmm, roundup is Marietta? That is closer. Jeff won't want to take the kids to Sandbass. So, I'd rather go with the closer race. But, honestly, I'll do whatever the group wants to do.

      I am looking forward to steaks in September but I HAVE to get my shit together first.