Friday, April 6, 2012

Sidelining the Sweet Talk: Little Kids Don't Appreciate April Fool's Jokes

Today's "Sidelining the Sweet Talk" topic is another lesson in bad parenting.

We have been planning a camping trip for this weekend for over a month now.  We are going with Elizabeth's family, and the plan is to cram all ten of us (4 adults and 6 six kids) into this cabin:

Not our original cabin, but it is now.  
It's a long story that involved me sweating bullets
yesterday for about two hours.
We thought about splitting into two cabins, but really what would be the point of that?  The kids will all want to sleep together anyway, and this cabin is well equipped to handle us with not two, but three sets of bunkbeds. 

And with all the kids asleep in one house, the adults can stay up carousing after we wear their little rugrat asses out. 

There's a nice kitchen with a fridge to store my hummus.

And, there's a fire pit for hotdog and marshmallow roasting.

Everyone is excited . . . for different reasons. 

The boys are pumped up about all the fishing they are going to do.  

The girls are excited to wear their new sunglasses.

But, Elizabeth  and I are excited because a dream of ours (much like the Waffleballs food truck) is to jointly own a gigantic pontoon boat.  

Everyone laughs at us when we talk about it, but we don't care.  We don't need no stinking big-time ski boat or immaculate house boat to make us happy. We aren't too cool for a good old-fashion party barge. The double-wide of the boating world is right up our alley (Awesome Jeff and EZ-GO Joe don't always agree). But, to humor us this weekend, for about 2 hours we will rent one and pretend that we own it.  Elizabeth can be the Skipper and I'll be Gilligan.  Or, more likely, she can be MaryAnn and I'll be Ginger Ms. Powell.

Of course, we have been menu planning all week.  And, we do have some post-Lenten treats in mind. I'm planning on making these Oreo stuffed chocolate chip cookies on Saturday:

I'm not crawfishing on the whole sugar-free thing.  Not at all.  But after 40 days of being sugar-free, I'm considering this trip to be a special occasion.   Furthermore, I think its a good experiment.  I have a suspicion that my cleansed, healthy, sugar-free system will be whipsawed by these delicious little morsels.   I bet I will make myself sick and be cured of any desire to revert to my previous sugar-gorging ways.

But, I digress because as the title suggests, this post is about the little April Fool's joke we played on the kids.   

As I said, everyone is really excited about the "camping" trip.  The kids, especially, are beside themselves.  And, that's where the April Fool's joke comes in. 

On Sunday, we were driving back from Tulsa, and I said to Awesome Jeff, "we should really play a trick on the boys."  We thought for a while and were having trouble coming up with anything that wasn't just terribly cruel (we had some awesome ideas, but the cost of putting the kids in therapy just wasn't worth it).  Then, Awesome Jeff said, "we should tell them that we aren't going camping." 


After we got home, we played with the kids outside for awhile and then we gathered them up on the back porch for a heart-to-heart.

It went like this:

Awesome Jeff:  Guys, we have something to tell you.
 Easy E (age 8):  What's up dad?
Awesome Jeff:   Well, your mom and I spent a lot of money this weekend in Tulsa, and you know it costs a lot of money to go camping.  So, we just don't have enough money left to go camping next weekend.
Easy E:  [Lip-quivering dumbfoundedness]
Drama (age 6):  No.  We are going.  I'm going to get my piggy bank.  I have $6, and you can have it.
Awesome Jeff:  That's just not enough, buddy.
Drama:  [now stomping angrily in circles around the back porch]:  We have to go.  I can't believe this.
Tiny Princess:  Vroooooooom.  [pretending to drive her Barbie jeep and oblivious to the whole conversation]
Awesome Jeff:  Mom, do you have anything to add?
Both of us together:  Booyah, April Fool's.  We are just kidding.  We are going camping.

And, then Drama looked at us like he might punch us in the face and ran away. 

Was it cruel?  Sure, a little.  I thought it was hysterical though.  I think it's good to keep your kids expectations low - that way they are pleasantly surprised when good things happen.  And, they really need to be taught to have  a sense of humor.

They are over it now, and we are getting all packed up to go.   For those of you that are concerned that we heathens are taking our kids off to the wilderness for Easter instead of church, do not fear.  I have a great Easter Bible lesson planned for Sunday morning, and we are going to make Resurrection Rolls for breakfast.   Furthermore, I'm positive that the Easter Bunny will be able to find them in Beaver's Bend. 

In fact, after our little bunnies grow up and move away, I think he may live there in the off-season.

Happy Easter,



  1. Reading your blog really makes me wish we had some time to catch up! Still the same funny, witty Jenni, just a slightly more adult version with kids :)....

    1. Tracey Bartee, is that you? I would love to catch up with you too. Next time you are in these parts, give me a shout, and I'll come see you in Davis. I love to go there for Mexican food.

  2. Reading your blog really makes me wish we had some time to catch up! Still the same funny, witty Jenni, just a slightly more adult version with kids :)....