Monday, March 5, 2012

Running is for the Dogs

Awesome Jeff (and Grumpy Jeff, too, for that matter) is out of town for business.  As such, I couldn't go to the gym this morning without risking a visit from Child Protective Services.  It was sort of nice because I slept in later than usual and then made myself a light breakfast that included a Green Monster Smoothie and a single, lonely Bird in a Nest:

Leave a comment if you want to know what goes into a
Green Monster or a Bird in a Nest

I had to keep breakfast light because I had a run planned with my friend, Allison. 

As I was dropping my boys off at school, I got a text from Allison that said, "Do you care if I bring Ruck?" 

Now, Ruck is her 500 pound, six month old German Shepherd puppy.  I responded "No don't care," but I know that she heard the mental eye rolling that I was projecting all the way across town.

It's no secret.  I don't like to run with dogs.  For one thing, they are easily distracted by things like this:

Squirrels are Vermin

And this:

You would look like this too if a German Shepherd was coming at you

And of course, this:
I don't think a dog has hit this one yet

The only bathroom breaks that I want to take on a run are my own.  Or Allison's (because I'm a giver). 

I also don't like running with dogs because I feel like they are going to trip me.  But mostly, I don't like it because the obsessive compulsive part of me hates that jingling noise that their collars/leashes make.  It's like nails on a chalk board to me. 

But, Allison is a great running partner and so I'll make allowances.  Plus, she looks at me so sweetly when she wants something:

You are thinking, "this looks like its going to work out great.  He's a big dog."  But, if you notice, Ruck is already sighted on something in the distance - a precursor to things to come.

If you've read my bio page (and at least 40 people have), then you know that I consider myself a vampire runner.  I run in the dark.   Running in the light seems very strange to me, and it usually adds a little time to my pace because I don't feel like I'm running for my life I'm just a little bit out of my element.  

However, I do have to admit that the scenery is a little better during the daylight hours.  So, this morning, I decided to run with my phone in case there were any photo worthy moments. 

So that you can feel like you were there too, here is downtown, which I think is very cute and quaint:

As we rounded Central Park, we came upon some blooming trees:

They are lovely, but I think they smell like semen (or maybe it was something else in the park (gross!) that smelled like semen). I mentioned this to Allison, and she said, "I don't know what that smells like."     More mental eye rolling.

We were both in good shape today and didn't need to stop for a potty break but went ahead and took a picture of our favorite downtown loo:

They have a tiny, but surprisingly clean bathroom, and the lady working doesn't seem to mind that we have NEVER bought anything.

Just when I thought we weren't going to see anything interesting on our run, I almost stepped on this:

That's one spooky doll.  Allison thought it might be Juliet from Gnomeo and Juliet.  If so, I don't think that I need to see that particular movie. 

But, being practical a tightwad, I saw an opportunity here.  The Tiny Princess has been missing the momma doll from her doll house for a couple of weeks.  With a little cleaning, Scary Juliet may make a great temporary foster mom.

By this point, I had mostly forgot about Ruck.  I was focusing on the scenery and looking for my next big score.  And, to be honest, he was being surprisingly un-annoying.  I had almost completely tuned out the jingling. 

And, then, I heard this "whoomp" noise followed by a tiny gasp.  I looked over to see Allison going head over heels.  Literally, HEAD OVER HEELS.  All those years of gymnastics really paid off for her because she looked like a trapeze artist flying through the air with the greatest of ease.  Right up until she landed on her tail:

Of course, I was terribly concerned for her physical well-being and said, "Don't get up because you might be hurt this is a great photo op." 

She's going to have a little bruise and maybe an awesome scab:

She was a little too forgiving of Ruck, if you ask me.  After all, he did trip her.  So, I did a little disciplining of my own:

It's a real good thing it wasn't me that was sprawled out on the ground, or he certainly would NOT have been invited back. 

I would show you the stats for our run but somehow Ruck got my Garmin all slobbery:


Basically, we had an easy 4 mile run around the best parts of town.  We ran about a half minute slower (per mile) than usual, but, to be fair, we did spend a lot of time taking pictures and laying on the ground.  

Here I am sporting my "post-run glow":

Notice Scary Juliet tucked into the waist of my pants.  I realize that this is the second time in a week that you have seen this shirt.  But, I love it.

After I got home, I stuck Scary Juliet in the dishwasher.  Seemed like a solid choice.  We'll see how she fairs. 

After a few hours of some legitimate, paying work, I made myself some lunch:

You may be thinking, "But wait, didn't we see this same picture last week?"  Well, as I've said before, I pretty much eat the same things every single day. 

I'm a real bore.

Happy Monday,



  1. I am crying I am laughing so hard! I love it and I am so sad I missed out on this run. I can't believe you picked up that doll!

  2. Hi Jenni, I read your blog for the first time last week and am hooked. Mostly because I big and fat and pregnant with twins right now and exercise for me is walking down the hall to the bathroom. I aspire to be like you :-) But that hasn't changed much since college.

    What's in the bird's nest?

    1. Corbett! I've been silently stalking your pregnancy on facebook. Twins are amazing. I can't imagine, and I can't wait to see pictures of the babies. So, if you go to the "The Foods" tab on the top of the page, you will find a recipe for the Birds in a Nest.