Thursday, March 29, 2012

Happy Birthday, JMo!

In celebration of Jenni's birthday, I decided it would be fun to have a guest blogger share his first-hand account of what it's like to live with a fructose-free JMo.  That's right folks; I've turned the keyboard over for the day to Awesome(and/or Grumpy) Jeff.

Happy Birthday, Soul Sister.  

Thank you for being there for me. . . really there for me. . . when it matters. . . like when I'm low on corn or patience. 

Love you lots, EW 

Here goes. . .Lord help us all. 

Jeffrey Moen
Awesome and Grumpy all at once

As all good attorneys should do, I have to start today's post with my own little disclaimer.  I have been called many things on this blog(and in private) by my blushing bride and her blogging buddies-"awesome"(well, of course), "grumpy" (eh, that's probably fair), "grouchy" (also fair), "hot guy doing man work" (yes, you weisenheimers.  She was referring to me), and even "fun-hater" (so NOT true).  However, the words "funny" and "Jeff" don't often collide in the same sentence.  And, since I told Jenni that blogs are only worth reading if they make people laugh, I will be channeling my inner JMo and relying heavily on EW for some serious comedic contributions to this post.  My apologies in advance. . this was not my idea. 

Since today is her birthday, it's only fitting to start by sharing one of my all-time favorite pictures.  It was take during the summer of 2000 when she was a clerk for her current law firm; I believe it was this summer when she actually obtained the nickname JMo.  Yes, she had had a couple (or eight) drinks before the picture was taken; and yes, we have a 3' x 4' (that's in feet) poster of this in our home:

The Original JMo
Jenni is pretty much pure greatness.  So when she comes up with wacky ideas that I fear could alter this greatness (like giving up sugar for 40 days) I tend to get, well maybe, just a little grumpy . . . but just a little. 

When Jenni told me she was giving up sugar (or was it fructose, or both . . . what's the difference . . . whatever) for Lent, I knew it meant more than just cleaning out the cookie jar for 40 days.  One time Jenni told me that she was going to take up knitting, and in no time she had whipped up this little number

This is a bikini that she created from a single strand of yarn (that skill still baffles me)
And, yes she wore it. . . once.

I used to give her a hard time about how expensive all of her hobbies were. So one day she told me that she was going to take up running. I thought, SWEET! How expensive could that possibly be?  Well, thanks to Luke's Locker, and now many years later Lululemon, we're out countless thousands of dollars, and she even convinced me to run with her up and down hills through fire and mud:        

Don't be fooled by my smile.  I despise running.
Always have, always will.
The point is, when Jenni makes up her mind to do something, she goes ALL IN. So, when I heard "sugar-free" for Lent, I knew that the Moen house was in for an entire new menu.  You've seen the pictures (and for the record, she now take pictures of all of our dinner plates ALL THE TIME). Can you believe some of the things we eat?  Seriously?  She's even got Dylan thinking about new dishes we can try. 

Duck-at-the-door soup anyone?

But I have to admit, now that we are three or four weeks into Jenni's latest life-consuming experiment, we've adapted very easily to our new "normal".  It probably doesn't hurt that no matter what Jenni feeds me at home, I can (and do) still go to the office and stuff my face with these little gems.

Damn straight those are GALLON bags of gummy greatness

And despite all of the talk of the craziness in the first two weeks of giving up sugar (what did she call it . . . sugar detox or something . . . I don't know), Jenni never lost her fun-loving spirit, smart-ass mouth, or came at me or the kids like a spider monkey. 

So, all-in all, JMo's little Lenten sacrifice has been a pretty painless experience for everyone involved.  We've enjoyed some dishes we never would have otherwise.  We've all become a little healthier than we were before.  We've had something new to talk about every day.  And most importantly of all, it makes Jenni happy.

Isn't this strikingly similar to the picture from 
twelve years earlier?

And at the end of the day, that is all that matters.  

Happy Birthday, Jenni.  I love you. 



  1. Great guest post Awesome Jeff! Very sweet :)

  2. I love it "hot guy doing man work"Jeff! Allison

  3. Awww...sounds like 'sweet' Jeff wrote this ;) I am just glad to hear through all of the anti-sugar craziness Jenni has stayed (for the most part) the same!! Happy Birthday Jenni!! Love and miss all you guys!