Monday, March 19, 2012

Hallucinations and then . . . clarity.

Elizabeth and I are on Day 27 of our sugarless experiment.  During these past weeks, we have repeatedly heard the same questions:

1. Has it been hard?
2. How do we feel?
3. What do we eat?
4. Are we going to keep it up after Lent?
5.  Have we lost our minds?

I think we have done an okay job of talking about #3.  We have tried to provide some examples of what we are eating and even a few how to's.  I would like to do more but I keep digging into my food before I remember to take pictures.  

I'm going to save #4 for another day, and the answer to #5 is easy:

We have never been in our right minds.

But, I can answer questions #1 and 2, right here and now.  The first few days were hard.   It was probably around Day 3 when:

I had a dream,
I had an awesome dream.
The tiny princess and I were walking through a hotel lobby. 

We went up an escalator and into a hall of cakes and cupcakes. 
There were tables and tables of sweet confections. It was a sight to behold.

It really didn't look like that at all,
but I couldn't find a picture of a hotel lobby full of cupcakes. 


I pointed out the most appealing selections to the Tiny Princess,
trying to sway her in the direction of what I would choose.

Such as: 

Vanilla with Butter Cream Frosting


Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting

Or one of my very favorites:

Tres Leches
Are you getting hungry yet?  This is kind of a form of cruel and unusual punishment, isn't it?

Anyway, with all these beautiful cakes before us,
the Tiny Princess picked some skanky Walmart cupcake.

Ugly Walmart Cupcake

And, I woke up in a cold sweat . . . and incredibly sad . . .
because she had made such a terrible choice . . .
and I was also a little hungry.

But, aside from a few early-on hallucinations, I can sincerely say that it has not been as hard as I expected. There was one night probably around Day 4 when I really wanted dessert. And, my kids were going nuts and on my very last nerve.   I was in a wretched mood. I think I grew horns.  My family probably expected my head to do a 360 on my body.   But, I talked myself off the ledge, and it passed.

I also felt a little lethargic the first week.   I run between 15-25 miles per week, and when I run, I like to run hard and get dirty and stinky.

Check out the dirt on Allison and I after the Warrior Dash

There is also the workouts with Teamshortstack, and the combat (kick boxing) class 2-3x per week.  They are the same story. I'm there to kick ass and take names.    I leave combat kind of hoping that I will get mugged in the Walmart parking lot because I stupidly courageously feel like I could take them.  Well, maybe. 

It definitely takes a lot more of this:

than it does cupcakes to fuel a hard run. So, when I made the switch, I kind of went through a slump those first few days. There were a couple of mornings when I just wanted to sit down on the curb and call someone to come get me. 

But then, around Day 6, the skies parted and the sun shone through. 


And, all of the sudden, it was easier.

My body felt cleaner. I had lost that bloated feeling that made me feel like crap all the time. And, as an added perk, I wasn't having to fight with my jeans to get them zipped.


My head was clearer. No more glycemic mood swings. I mean, Awesome Jeff would probably tell you that I'm still moody. But, it's not my fault that the people around me do stupid stuff and I react.  And, I really do feel better and more on my A-game. 

So, I'm in a real good place now.  I've stopped thinking about dessert after every meal.

I guess that's what it's like when you go through a detox.  Whether it's drugs, alcohol, or cupcakes that you are purging from your system, there are going to be some bad days at the beginning.  But then, every day it gets a little easier and you feel a little better. 

Actually, I'm just guessing that's what detox is like.  I base that on countless Lifetime movies and a Sandra Bullock movie: 

Have a great Monday,


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