Thursday, March 1, 2012

A Guest Post by Jill


Jill is one of my oldest and best friends. We have been friends since the first grade, and she has stood by me through thick and thin.  She has stood by me through the stupidest of times.  I would take a bullet for this girl, and I can only say that about a handful of people.  Enough mushy stuff.

I asked her to write a guest post.  This is her take on friends, fitness, and fructose:

I’m Jill, the third founding member of "Team Shortstack." JMo and Ripa asked me to "guest blog" for them.

My only credentials, so to speak, include my willingness to drag myself up at the ugliest hour of the day to workout with them and the fact they find my texts amusing when I’ve succumbed to the siren call of merlot.

So I’ve measured out an 8 oz. goblet (I’m working on portion control) and popped a Zyrtec.

This could be really rocking and rolling or I could fall asleep any moment…can’t wait to see which wins out…

Once upon a time, there was a very little girl whose mother told her she could only have one piece of candy from her easter basket each day.

The next day she was caught hiding under her toddler bed gorging on all of that candy (she had to turn her face sideways to fit since the bed was so low to the ground). So began my love affair/addiction to all things sugar.

The blue eyes give it away that this is a
poached picture and not really me.
I grew up on Cocoa Pebbles for breakfast and Nerds candy for a snack. The culmination of my problem was probably when I found myself on more occasions than I’d like to admit eating an entire bag of peppermint patties while pregnant with both of my kids.

Three small patties have 26 grams of sugar…more than you should have total in one day and I’m sure there were at least 20 in a bag. Yikes…I’ve got "sugar babies" instead of "crack babies"! 

As an old broad in her mid-thirties, my life is starting to change.

Now, you must know I’ve been friends with JMo since our days at Stinkin Lincoln Elementary.
Prom 1993
Senior Year
Yes, We had Professional Pictures
Taken Together
Didn't Everyone?
Boston: 1999-ish

By high school she was dragging my butt through geometry and calculus (numbers hurt my head) so it’s no surprise that eventually I’d follow into her scary world of low (or I should say normal levels of) sugar…even after she made me fall in love with her cake balls and birthday cake popcorn (has she mentioned her passion before sugar free was baking?)

And don’t get me started on Ripa’s oreo balls. Mmmm…that’s a lot of balls, but I digress.  Anyway, I lost 15 pounds last year working out with these chicks and calorie counting on The Pal.

Then from Halloween 2011 to New Year’s 2012 I gained 10 pounds back eating huge amounts of, well, everything and ignoring The Pal. Even with all the eating I knew I was doing, I still blamed my jelly belly on my roly-poly babies. Ha! When those fat babies outgrow their rolls and are capable of writing their own names, wiping their own behinds and can vacuum the living room (they learned how yesterday) then you can’t really blame your own fatrolls on them anymore.

Right now, I’m struggling to lose the weight like I did last year. I’m working out and counting calories, but after looking at my food logs for the past two weeks I realized I was averaging between 70-80 grams of sugar a day. I was still coming under my calorie count each day, but it finally hit me…if you eat three 100 calorie Skinny Cow Chocolate Truffle bars a day, you eliminate the Skinny and are just left with the Cow.


My dilemma was the all or nothing concept…I felt like I had a better chance of inventing a mute button for whining children (a dream of mine) than going cold turkey like Jenni and Elizabeth.

Last week, I worked on lowering my sugar intake by eliminating all crappy sugar (everything except fresh fruit) and decreasing my morning bran cereal and blueberries and adding a hard-boiled egg. Victory was mine…I went from 80 g to today’s 24g! I ate one Dove dark chocolate square last week (because I forgot to throw it away), and this week I’m cutting way back on my grape consumption (the raw fruit, not the libation) which I used to curb the chocolate fix.

Evidently, old dogs can learn new tricks. I can (with great pain in my heart…that one piece of Dove was like electricity through my body, I won’t lie) walk away from chocolate and eat more veggies (I was "allergic" to them as a kid) and for three days a week I love teaching 5th grade math (Geometric proofs…NO! Long division and fractions…YES, love it!)

So for all those who might read this and think JMo and Ripa are nuts or superwomen , well, you’re right (Ripa is a medical marvel with a trash compactor intestinal system and JMo tried to do a handstand push-up last week).  I on the other hand am currently (as my husband would say), one crunch away from perfection. But they still love me anyway and encourage me to be strong and healthy and make me snort when I laugh.

If you too are in search of your best you, grab some funny friends and make them do it with you…makes all the difference.

Zyrtec is winning now…I’m out.



  1. Jill you are awesome! Great post!!

  2. Thanks Emily! Loved the photo flashback too...though Jenni did show great restraint by not posting our Hideous (with a capital H) 5th grade school pics (both of us with perms from hell and red bowties around our neck) or our Skid Row tshirt pic from 9th grade. We've come a long way! Jill

  3. So funny. I like the portraits together! I did one of those in middle school with my best friend too.