Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Don't Hate the Playa . . .

Conversation with my dad last week:

Dad: What are you reading?
Me: Material about how to reduce sugar in your diet. It's supposed to make me a nicer person. I'm giving it up for Lent.
Dad: I didn't eat sugar all through your childhood.
Me: [arching eyebrows]
Dad: I eat a lot now, and I'm told that I'm actually nicer than I used to be.
Me:  I've heard that, too.  Don't stop eating the pie, Dad.

My Awesome Dad eating Chocolate Pie.
Thanks to my Sneaky Mom, he has no idea that
this picture was captured

The point is that this experiment is not for everyone. What I find as interesting as the experiment itself is the reaction I get when I tell people that I'm quitting sugar. They generally fall into one of three categories:

1. The most common reaction is "have you lost your eff'ing mind?" It's a friendly, fun reaction that involves some head shaking but no conveyance of ill will - no indication that you are going to be stabbing pins in the eyes of a mini voodoo Jenni later.

2.  The least common reaction is "damn Gina! you girls are smart!" It is said with exuberant acceptance and is sometimes accompanied by love and adoration. Of course, this is my favorite reaction. In my opinion, it's a "smarter than the average bear" reaction. I LIKE it.


3.  Then, the most baffling reaction is pure, unadulterated hate. It's conveyed with slitted eyes, scrunched noses, and a clear desire to set my hair on fire.

What I'm still trying to figure out is why MY giving up sugar elicits such anger in anyone else:

Holy crap! It's not like we just took up dog fighting.
Michael Vick's Mugshot
I don't care what you are eating (okay, maybe I actually do want to know because I'm a total voyeur). But, I'm not one to judge. Eat whatever you like. Drink high fructose corn syrup straight from the bottle if you want.

I'm just saying that, for at least the next 40 days, I'm not going to operate on the "God made dirt and dirt won't hurt" principle. There are a lot of natural foods out there. Just because they are natural doesn't mean they are the BEST choice. After all, dirt IS digestible. If you want to serve up a big mud pie for dinner, get after it.  
I just prefer not to follow my dinner with a de-worming pill, and I'd rather that my innards not start resembling the bottom of the fryer at McDonald's.
Sure, it would be great if I end up looking better naked (says Awesome Jeff). But, it's not all about looks. It's also about me being healthier on the inside. So, let's be lovers, not fighters. Don't be hatin' on the experiment, or you might bring out the Bad Mother in me.
A big thank you to my running buddy,
Allison, for getting me this shirt
and a big thank you to Jill, fellow Team Shortstacker,
for playing photographer at 5:30 a.m.

We're not trying to change the world. We aren't asking anyone to join us on this quest to fructose freedom. We are simply documenting our journey for anyone who may be interested . . . mainly because we think some funny shit may happen along the way. We think we might have something of of great value to share with the world, and since we have our first Google follower (and 8 hits from Japan, and 15 hits from the U.K., and 1 hit from France) it's clear that the world has opened its arms to us.

[By the way: Robbie, you are our first official follower. Identify yourself and I'll send you a little "first follower" gift. Hint: It might be a Jenni Band that is similar to the headband I'm wearing in the picture immediately above.]

Peace out,



  1. I love the sneaky picture of JoPapa

  2. I like the 5:30 in the morning picture!

  3. oh man, i wanted the jenni band :)

  4. I am so following you! Love the bad mother runner face!!!! Allison

  5. Good for you Jenni. I think I'm the complete opposite of you two today. I found myself throwing a bag of Cadburry eggs in my cart today and then proceeding into a chocolate induced coma this afternoon. I think I should take some tips from you, Bad Mother Runner.

    1. So good to hear from you Meredith! But, really, Cadbury Eggs? Godiva chocolate - yes. I can even support Reese's Peanut Butter cups. But Cadbury Eggs? That's just one step above Peeps. Or is it? Have I been missing out on something?