Sunday, February 26, 2012

Salmonella Cookie Nuggets Not Welcome Here

I spend the weekdays regulating my food intake like a complete lunatic.   Every tidbit, every morsel that passes my lips is logged on The Pal (a.k.a  Then, on the weekends, I let 'er fly.  As a result, I spend a lot of time during the week planning my splurges, and a lot of time on the weekends bringing them to fruition.   Going into this first FF (fructose free) weekend, I knew that there was going to be a big hole in my heart and that the real test was upon me.


Elizabeth and I frequently get the families together on Friday nights for play-time, dinner, and libations.  We alternate between houses  because with six kids between the ages of 2-8 it looks a lot like a daycare gone awry.  There is no way that we are taking six kids out to eat.  I'd rather have my head sewn to the carpet.

The kids get boring old kid food.  That's the easy part, and in my opinion, its nasty.  (You can look forward to a whole post on that within the next few days.)  

More thought goes into the grown-up food.  We've really been channeling our inner Julia Childs since we discovered pinterest.   This weekend, Elizabeth out did herself by preparing these rocking venizon-stuffed green peppers:

They were delicious.  I would love to share the recipe here, but she doesn't have one.  Sometimes you can't put magic on paper.

The culmination of Friday Night Dinner is dessert at the end. I look forward to to it all day - all week, really.  Usually, we do something like this:
Pumpkin Cookies from

Or this:

Chocolate Cookie Dough Cupcake from

And, once we even did these Better-than-Sex Brownies:

Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookie n’ Oreo Fudge Brownie Bar from
This week, because we aren't partaking, we just made some shitty, pre-cut cookies out of a box for the kids.    But with deprivation in full swing, handing them over to the kids was really difficult:

And, for some crazy reason, Elizabeth didn't make the whole box.  There were four little raw cookie dough nuggets left over.  Now, the threat of a little salmonella poisoning isn't going to dissuade either one of us from eating raw cookie dough - even shitty little pre-cut boxed cookie dough. 

Under normal circumstances, we would have nodded to each other in complete agreement and said, "Just one won't hurt."  Then we would have seen who could eat fastest in order to get the remaining two.  On this night though, cookies weren't on the menu.  As I looked at Elizabeth, I could see that temptation was in full force.  It was in her eyes.  She looked like she was face-to-face with "her own personal brand of heroin."  Before her inner demons could take over, I squirted those little salmonella nuggets down with dish soap.  I thought she was going to dot my eye.

The rest of the weekend has been really good.  My running crew is in Fort Worth breaking hearts and records at the Cowtown Marathon.  Since our gym doesn't open until 9 a.m. on Saturdays, Elizabeth and I staged a little early-morning workout session in the living room gym at Casa de Moen.  It was freaking awesome, and I'm feeling what I call the "hurt of hotness" today.

We used the Nike Training Center app on my iPad as our trainer. She never yells at us and is always encouraging. I have to admit though that I have a negative gutteral reaction when she tells me to "dig deep."  The inner peace resonating from that lady leads me to believe that she was eating a ding dong when she recorded the message.

After some prodding, Awesome Jeff took  this photo for us even though Grumpy Jeff thought the whole scene was ridiculous.  To add to the festivity, my kids were running in and out, and the Tiny Princess (my three year old daughter) tried to workout with us. 

Tiny Princess does the Plank

Last night, Awesome Jeff and I went to a private party at a new bar that is opening in town.  According to my bill at the end of the night, I had six of these:

Picture from

I wasn't feeling it though.  So, maybe the FF diet is turning me into some sort of alcohol-resistant super woman, which means I'm better equipped to hang out with this guy:

That's Awesome Jeff in the Robin suit.  He's going to be so happy that I put this up.

All in all, I feel like this experiment is brilliant.  I'm looking the naysayers in the eye and saying 'its all good.'  If you think I'm going to starve myself, you don't know me at all.  


I'm just replacing all of the sugar-laced things in my former diet with healthy fats, proteins, and veggies.  I feel good, and it's looking like I'm not destined for this after all:

Happy Sunday, Y'all.


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