Saturday, February 25, 2012

I'm Not Glowing

Some administrative business. My apologies for the length of my last post.    My husband told me that it was horrendously long and too sciencey. This is exactly what I was afraid of. You see, I used to think that blogging was for long-winded narcissists. But, I've come to really enjoy reading other people's blogs.  Maybe I'm just embracing the narcisstic windbag within.

With regard to my husband, I've decided that "The Grouch" doesn't thoroughly capture the multiplicity of his personality.  He really has two modes of operation.  So, I'm going to refer to him as "Awesome Jeff" and "Grumpy Jeff."  I think you'll understand.
Awesome Jeff in his father's day sunglasses
that one of the kids sat on
Grumpy Jeff after killing a rat with a vacuum

Now for the good stuff.  I've been fructose free for 72 hours or so.  I'm sure you are Jonesing to know how its been and what I've been eating.  Some thoughts:

Healthy Eating Ain't Cheap:
A certain amount of start-up funds are requried with all my little projects (i.e., knitting, sewing, reading, running, etc.). Start-up costs are incredibly hard for my Grumpy Jeff to bear. Whereas I can barely make it down my drive-way before I have figured out how to spend every last dollar in my wallet, Awesome Jeff can live all month on a twenty dollar bill.

On Wednesday, I went to our local health food store and spent $40 on a mere handful of items. None of the items purchased will benefit anyone else in the house . . . there has been a lot of nose-scrunching and Heisman-stancing toward the concoctions I've been creating with my new dinosaur kale and chia seeds.

Yesterday, I had to go to the real grocery store because the kids were out of their sugar-infested fruit snacks, and almost everything in the cabinets is on my "Hells No" list.   After two hours of browsing nutrition labels and getting excited over things like coconut oil, coconut water, and bison steak, I came in $5 over budget and that doesn't even include the $40 that I spent earlier in the week. Here's a sample of my purchases:

Looks nice and healthy and fructose free, doesn't it.  I saved some serious moolah on the Great Value brand items - probably close to $1.20.  Even when I'm trying to save money, I end up spending more. Maybe, because I buy things like this:

Impulse buys like these push Grumpy Jeff to the edge.

Where's that Healthy Glow?
Now that I'm eating all of this healthy food, I should be glowing like a pregnant lady.  I should be shining like a diamond, right?  A picture of health and loveliness.

Nope.  My bathroom reeks of asparagus (yes, I said know what I'm talking about), which I admit to thinking is funny (I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy).  And, horror of all horrors, I woke up with - not one - but two zits yesterday.  So now I also have the skin of a 12 year old boy.  I'm telling myself that my body is purging itself of the poisionous Twinkie toxins I ate last weekend. 

Clear Thinking
The Sugar Goddess says that reducing sugar brings a clarity of mind.  I have to admit I feel good.   It's only been two days, but I feel like I'm getting smarter by the minute.  I had a minor lapse today that involved me absentmindedly popping a grape in my mouth, but luckily I realized the error of my ways before I swallowed.  I blew that grape half-way across the kitchen, just barely missing my 3 year old daughter (who then picked it up and ate it).

I do have a teensy bit of a headache, and my vision is blurry.  Could just be that I'm hungover.  But I think that it has more to do with the fact that I forgot to put in my contacts, and I'm too lazy to rectify the situation.  As a testament to my increasing clarity, I didn't even come close to running my car into anything today. Winning!

I'm not sure that the lack of sugar is having the same effect on Elizabeth.  We got all the way through our workout yesterday morning before she figured out that she had her pants on inside out.

What's in my Belly:
Here is a sampling of the deliciousness that I've been producing in my kitchen.  All with no fructose or added sugars:
Thursday Dinner:  Giant Fried Egg (three whites
and one yolk), Mashed Sweet Potato, and
Sauteed Kale
Friday Lunch:  Salad with Chicken,
Cherry Tomatos, and Red Wine Vinegar Dressing,
Red Pepper Hummus, and Gluten-Free Crackers
Saturday Breakfast: 
Green Monster Smoothie with Cucumber,
 Gerber Baby Sweet Potatoes,
and Cocunut Milk

Peace out,



  1. You are hilarious! I am very similar...I have spent way too much money at Whole Foods and Central Market this month that is pretty much only food for me. And I really almost bought that headband this weekend at walmart. :)

    1. You should buy the headband. It totally goes with everyone. In fact, I'll buy you one tomorrow when I go to the grocery store and save $2 on my great value products.