Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Crack is Whack and So is Sugar

We are self-diagnosed sugar-a-holics.  Love, love, love the sweet stuff.  Cake balls, cookies, candy, cereal . . . its all good.  After the New Year's party this year, Elizabeth and I were left to clean up.  And, we did.  We cleaned up the dessert table.    It was a gruesome scene, as we stuffed fistfulls of cake batter popcorn and cookies in our mouths.  A gluttonous nightmare:

We are changing our ways.  For Lent, we are removing sugar from our menus.  Even Elizabeth - the girl who puts sugar on her sugar - is on board.  No more hoarding cake balls like a back alley hooker hoards crack.  Its going to be tough going.  I anticipate a lot of four letter words being thrown around.  But, we are doing it, and here is why.


Two days ago, I was standing [practically] naked in my bathroom, and my husband told me that I should really be skinnier considering all the running and strength training that I do.  What the heck, right?  I promise that he really wasn't trying to be a jerk.  He comes by it naturally.  He just really believes that I always want to hear the truth about myself.  It's a mistaken belief.  I really, really don't want to hear that crap, but it got me thinking hard about something that I've been quietly pondering for a while:

I was in better shape a year ago than I am today.  

I workout hard.   I watch what I put in my pie hole.  I count every calorie.  So what's the deal?  What's up with my thutt and my gut and why can't I get rid of  the 5 lbs that I've put on since Halloween?  I'm no brain surgeon, but maybe its because I can't keep my spoon out of the sugar bowl. 

Now that's not really true, I don't add sugar to anything.  But, I'm a secret sugar binger.  During the week, I eat tons of fruit and a LOT of artifical sweeteners.  On the weekends, I treat myself . . . for three days straight.  As result I'm eating like crap 3/7 of the time.  I'm always looking forward to my next fix, and I can't stop at just one bite.  I've been known to binge on some Reese's peanut butter cups and hide the evidence in the bottom of the trash can.  I may or may not have been known to follow up those Reese's peanut butter cups with a sleeve of Oreos . . . dipped in more honey roasted peanut butter. 

I broke the news to Elizabeth that I've decided to give up sugar for Lent.  She looked at me like I had grown horns.  But after a little investigation and an excessive amount of texting, we were in agreement.  Our research led us to www.sarahwilson.com/au and http://www.the21daysugardetox.com/.  I won't get into the science of it all . . . yet, but if you buy into the hype, its possible that sugar and other sweeteners are responsible for my inability to shed the last 5 pounds of belly fat. Additionally, while I've been blaming my three kids, it turns out that sugar could even be (at least partially responsible) for my personality disorder.   Also problematic, I've learned that fructose is shunted directly to the liver and contributes to a condition called non-alcoholic fatty liver disease.  Let's face it, my liver doesn't need anything else attacking it.

So, tomorrow begins my experiment to cut all fructose from my diet.  Because Elizabeth is joining me on this quest to insanity cleaner living, we are bidding a fond ado to many things that we hold near and dear to our heart.  But that's tomorrow.

Tonight, it is only appropriate that we eat this for dinner:

Yes, that is a waffle covered in peanut butter and frozen yogurt with a side of peanut butter chips, chocolate chips, and banana.  I'm going face first into that thing, and I bet there will be pictures.


I'm quitting(errr. . . limiting) my sugar for Lent . . . I have decided that the letter C is the best.

It kicks all the other letters around town.  Twice.  I've made a list of all the things in life that make me happy: (in no particular order) Cookies, Candy, Cake, Cocktails, Coffee creamer. . .and oh, yeah, my Children. All Cs. While I'm not going to give up the cocktails or my children for Lent, all the rest have to go.

But how? I need a game plan. I know myself. Jenni is a bad ass. She is hard core and I imagine she's going to kick sugar's ass like Bruce Lee in a 1970s kung fu movie.   I'm the soft core version of this little experiment.  More like a Susan Lucci bitch fight on All My Children.


  1. I will be your faithful supporter during this adventure. I'm giving up sweets for lent along with crappy snacks. Not to the sugar extent as what you two are going though. I wish you willpower, I know you can do it.

  2. Absolutely fabulous! Will be checking in to see the commentary. Kristi

  3. Love. this. Good luck to you two! Jenni, I hope that it doesn't change your personality because if you become lame from lack of sugar I will personally drive to your house with a car load of all the above mentioned items to bring you back to life ;)


  4. Good luck!! I gave up all refined sugar for a fitness challenge about 4 weeks ago...it is tough, but after about the first week it gets a lot better. Maple syrup and honey will become your close friends :)